Rule #1: Cardio

While I would love to believe that I can just close my eyes, tie on some running shoes and wish my way through this thing, there is some planning I will need to do to get through this without breaking myself. I know that in order to be able to run 13.1 miles in less than a week under 3 hours I will have to run. And run. And cry. And then run some more. And then ice my knees while I cry. I will also have to start paying more attention to what I eat and when because let me tell you, puking up garlic soaked pizza on the side of the road mid-run in a heat stroke haze is not exactly an experience I’m aiming to repeat.

I have a tendency to go overboard on research. Mostly because while I am researching running techniques, training plans, nutrition tips and the like, I can feel productive without actually running. Sneaky brain. Stop that. I have gathered the equivalent of a metric-fuck-ton of information and have distilled it into a mishmash sort of training schedule that I hope will allow me to get across the finish line. I’ll be running 4 days a week, alternating weeks of distance and speed runs with weight lifting wedged in between runs 2 days a week from The New Rules of Lifting for Women program. Last year I noticed a considerable increase in my speed and the ease of running when I was lifting, so I am including it, even though I probably won’t ramp up the weight as aggressively in favor of saving the energy for my runs. Last but not least at least once every couple of weeks, I’m making a point to do a yoga day so I stay limber.

Hey, monkey. How about some protein waffles?

A year’s worth of Vegetarian Times magazines got pulled out of the cabinet and I chose a bunch of what look like simple “a monkey couldn’t screw this up” recipes to try in the coming weeks. On the other hand, that monkey has a degree from Le Cordon Bleu, and I mess up Velveeta shells, so I’m still worried. I’ll also be utilizing The No Meat Athlete for tips and recipes to keep me going since I feel better when I eat mostly veg. The 2 big challenges here will be trying to stay ahead of myself by pre-chopping/preparing/portioning things to eat since I am RE-HE-HEAAALLLY lazy when it comes to making food (especially when hungry) and I’m terrible at cooking. My solution to all culinary dilemmas is “put more cheese on it”. This includes blocks of cheese.

Challenge number 2 is overcoming the incredible hulk-style sweet tooth I have. I can have a fridge full of healthy tasty veggies, but if they’re not in easy to eat pre-portioned servings, I’ll use the excuse to eat my weight in chocolate chip cookies since that’s easier.

OoOOOOoooh Shiny

Right now I’m trying to do the mental math on how many miles my sneakers have on them and coming to the conclusion that I should stop doing math in the morning I will probably be investing in a new pair soon. I’ve been running in Mizuno Wave Inspires and I love them. They’re super light, comfortable and don’t give me blisters that look/feel like they’re housing a small alien colony. I don’t ask for much from a running shoe, but that is one requirement I’m pretty adamant about.


I’m also pretty adamant about not liking chafing, so I run in men’s Brooks Infiniti tight shorts since they have a longer inseam and don’t ride up and let the chub rub together until a fire starts. They’re a little hot in the summer, but I REALLY like these shorts. I also really like that I can go commando in them. Don’t knock it ’till you try it. Running “sans culottes” is the only way to go. Seriously.

If nothing else, at the end of this I should be in better shape to survive the zombie apocalypse, so that’s a plus. Stick that firmly in the “PROS” column for running. Unless of course they’re the super fast crazy type zombies. I’m not really a sprinter. More of an “I’ll wear you down after a few miles” type of runner. Good thing we’re in Florida and all the old people already can’t do more than shuffle. I hardly think being EVEN CLOSER to dead will increase their athletic ability. Here’s hoping, anyway.

19 weeks, fingers crossed…here goes nothin’.


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