Archive | November, 2011

Stop Being Sad and Be Awesome

3 Nov

Planned workout: Plan??? I think I’m going running…I think I’m gonna do 5 miles.

5k completed: 1

10k registered for: 1

Halloween costume: Huge Success! I mean…nobody knew what it was, but it looked awesome.

Mood: Uhhhhhhhhh……I’ll get back to you.

Florida Weather: Can’t make up its mind either.

OK. So here’s the deal. I haven’t updated in a while. I HAVE been working out. Not as much as I wanted, and REALLY cut back on the running, but it was happening. Mostly spinning, short runs and lots of pushups and crunches at home. I actually ran a 5k, which I will tell you about if you can keep your panties on for a hot second.

Yea. THAT motherfucker.

I have stayed away from the blog because I kind of hit the floor and turned into probably the worst version of myself I’ve ever been for the last week or 2. I was as close to a “normal girl” as I’ve ever been and it was disgusting. Like headcrab zombie disgusting. I was like the one covered in jumpy poisonous fuckers that throws them at people. Bonus points if you got that reference (add me on Steam or XBL later…). I bought a pint of Ben & Jerry’s even. It’s still in my freezer since I go in the opposite direction when stressed and lose interest in food….but let’s just leave it with I’m not proud of the last week, and we’re going to pretend it didn’t happen. OK? We shall never speak of this again on penalty of poisonous headcrab and/or crowbar. Whatever’s more available.

Self is still pretty solidly in control of my head at this point…but I have a toothpick the guard dropped and I’m trying to pick the lock on my handcuffs. Just wait, Self. Just wait. Your days of making me say/do degrading, pathetic things and feel shitty about myself are numbered. I’m getting really sick of this and want to feel good again. People send me postcards in my cell of what it’s like outside and it looks pretty badass. I’m gonna shank that bitch Self as soon as I get these cuffs off and bribe the guard and then we’ll see who’s in control.

So anyway, back on track, the place my dad works held a breast cancer benefit 5k last Saturday. Race started at 8:30 AM. You all know my penchant for waking up early, but since they needed entrants and it wasn’t TOOO early, I agreed to run it. Wake up morning of to grey and gross. It’s WET. And MUGGY. Hovering right around the 97-100% humidity marker. Greeaaaaat. Who’s excited to get up and go run in the rain, rather than stay in my nice comfy bed and listen to it? Not exactly me. But get up I did and we headed out.

This race was REALLY badly organized. Particularly in comparison to the Disney race….ouch. The field was really small. Probably 20-30 people total. I figured I’d just wail on it, go as fast as I could and then sit by the tent and have a nap until the walkers came in. Started out and stuck with 2 guys at the front. Then the 1st place guy actually started running and just straight disappeared. He was one of those guys with 0% body fat and little skinny legs for miles. NO chance you’re gonna catch him. The guy in 2nd place I paced until about a half mile in, at which point I managed to pass him and felt awesome for being in 2nd place for about 2 seconds, until a late starter flew up from behind and passed us all. Whatever. I’m still in 3rd. The earliness and the humidity (and let’s not forget the burger and beers I had the night before…I mean…it’s just a 5k…no need to prepare or nothin’…*cough*) started to catch up with me and my legs felt heavy, but I kept telling myself it was ONLY 3 miles. Come on, wussbag. Suck it up and get it moving.

Outta my way, bitches.

I ran the first mile in 7:31. Slowed down after that when the rain started coming down heavier and I had to breathe it/avoid puddles. Where’s my snorkel?? I kept glancing over my shoulder to see if I’d opened up any distance on the guy I passed. Not much. He was sticking with me, so I couldn’t slow down. Managed to finish out the race 3rd overall and fastest of the ladies with a time of 24:51. My goal was 25 mins or less, so BAM. Squeaked it out. Not a HUGE accomplishment since the field was so limited, but still. Not shabby. Squishy wet shoes and soaked clothes standing under the tent waiting for everyone else to finish. Got lots of compliments on my tat. Runners are cool people. 🙂 I didn’t even get an “attagirl” for coming in 3rd, except from the other runners. No prizes, no callout, nothing. A little disappointing. Oh well. I just want a hot shower and dry clothes. I did win a basket of flowers in a raffle, so I’m pretending I won them for coming in 3rd. ;p

Not too shabby! My mom is awesome for helping me with all this. And I know. I'm doing Halloween wrong. I should have been "Sexy Chell" and made that jumpsuit a miniskirt.

Later that day I finished up my awesomely nerdy Halloween costume and went out in downtown with some friends. My longfall boot springs lasted all of about 30 mins, but the rest held up really well. If anyone knows what I was…you’re probably as big a nerd as me and already my friend. A total of 2 people of the thousands in DT Orlando figured it out. The boots weren’t terrible to walk around in once I ditched the broken springs, but they had no padding. Let’s just say that waking up on the couch the next day still wearing half my costume and trying to move my legs was….sensitive. I didn’t stretch or anything after the race and was walking around and dancing in heeled boots all night. My legs were angry. Meh. Count it as a workout. Walk it off.

In an effort to “stop being sad and be awesome instead” which I think is my new morphed version of “nut up or shut up”, I booked a ski trip to Colorado 2 weeks from now which should be epic good times playing in the snow, and also signed myself up to run a 10k on Thanksgiving morning. I KNOW. I’m gonna eat tons of pie Wednesday night, pass out, wake up early and try to run 6 miles before going and stuffing myself again. How could this possibly end badly?? I think I have convinced a couple people to come with me and run the 5k and I think the courses start the same. We’ll see how fast I can do this. I’m not setting a goal because…well…..pie. LOTS of glorious pie. A girl needs priorities.

So what am I getting at with all this? I’m not going to be a ball of sunshine suddenly, but I am not gonna be this pitiful any more. I want to start being awesome again and make it through a day smiling instead of crying. Fuck him. I know I’ve said this before, but I’m done letting him make me feel pathetic and useless. It sucks. I can have a new life. I just have to drag my ass out of bed and get it. I need races and fun things to do and I have lots of vacation time. Anyone that wants to join me, let’s do this.